the lonlyness of my heart

it sickens me to be like this
how i wish to let go,
how many have gone through this
the same feelings,
that our heart falls apart
and we give up,
that we are drowing
and no one is coming,
that we need hope, faith
something to keep us there,
no one seems to hear our cries
and only death will embrace,
we wonder how things will end
when we fail to make there,
that we miss that which is obvious
the signs of those who matter the most,
what are the feelings that remain
after he have faild to save them,
that feelings that remain
are more that regret,
that we cant change what has happen
what will we do then,
that we ask what we did wrong
if only we had cared,
that we try to reach
but no one shows,
that we fall deeper
into the unknown,
that even the pills that i take
cant help me to forget,
that things remaind the same
and i fall into despair,
how many feelings can i name
when i cant even understand what i am,
if only you had known maybe
things wouldnt have ended this way,
if only i could make you happy
even if it meant taking my life away,
there is no way to save my self
because you dont feel the same,
my battle has come to an end
please fly away,
for the path that i must take
there is no regret,
you cant ever follow me
to the place where i go,
i just hope that you will forgive me
for leaving you like this,
at least he will be with you
giving you what i could not,
that the fire in me is dying
and the ashes are blown away,
if only things had been different
maybe you and i could have been,
but how could a beautiful person like you
be with a monster like me,
a monster that only death can hold
please never loose hope....

by aod